DAVID LEE ROTH: GLOOMSDAY IN DISGUISE John Gorman – RadioDailyNews A recent poll determined that most believe that the first workday after New Year’s day is the most miserable and stressful day of the year. In the United Kingdom, they gave it a name: Gloomsday. It’s when everyone with a job is back at work, suffering from empty wallets and bulging waistlines. Knowing there’s three months of cold, gray skies ahead only add to the anguish.
This was also the day when former ostentatious rock star David Lee Roth made his radio debut as Howard Stern’s successor on many CBS Radio-owned stations. Maybe someone at CBS corporate actually believed David Lee Roth’s resume made him the worthy candidate to succeed Howard Stern in most east and Midwest markets. I’m not sure what made them believe Roth was the best choice for the next big thing in morning drive radio. CBS Radio chieftain Joel Hollander claimed they were making contingency plans when they were told that Howard’s contract was poached by Sirius Satellite Radio. You could’ve fooled me.
Was it Roth’s years as the original lead singer of Van Halen, a band that typified stadium rock? Was it his career as a solo artist, which commenced when he was tossed out of Van Halen in favor of Sammy Hagar, a singer nearly ten years his elder? Maybe it was that cheesy 14-piece band revue he named Dave and his Non Stop Blues Bustin' Mambo Slammers that lasted a week at Bally's in Las Vegas. It could’ve been his 1997 less-than-best selling autobiography, Crazy From The Heat even if it didn’t come close to selling as many copies as Howard Stern’s Private Parts. Maybe it was it the Rebel without a Cause image Roth picked up after getting busted in Washington Square for buying a bag a dope.
In true objective journalism, I really wanted to be proven wrong about my advance comments on Roth. Wishful thinking.
He opened his show with a pre-recorded sultry sounding female speaking in Spanish and English, saying, "Welcome to David Lee Roth. Prepare to feel filthy, ashamed and completely alive." Following the introduction, he introduced himself and said, “Where do you start out a gig like this?" That led to a puerile discussion with his unidentified sidekicks on the best food to eat for a hangover.
He acknowledged his predecessor by saying, "Howard Stern has gone off into the front edge of American culture," whatever that meant. Later in the show, Roth “invited” Howard to be a regular caller to his show so they could talk about Tom Chiusano, the GM that was a constant thorn in Stern’s side. I doubt Howard will take him up on the offer and I’ll bet Roth feels the same way, too. Either that or he has a serious problem of believing his own hype.
The show hit rock bottom shortly after 8AM when Roth introduced his uncle, Manny Roth, who spent the rest of the show talking about his military duty and running a Greenwich Village folk club in the early ‘60s. It was a boring, almost two-hour interview, especially when you realized that Uncle Manny was more interesting than David Lee.
He also bragged about being able to fly a helicopter (twice) and his emergency medical technician (though I doubt he’ll resuscitate CBS Radio with this show). Here’s the problem. What he can’t master is radio. This wasn’t the flamboyant Diamond Dave of his Van Halen days. What we heard was an ego-deflated has-been rock star who came across like he was on a triple dose prescription of Lexapro.
Even I expected a little of that raw energy and testosterone-charged power that David Lee Roth has been able to summon up on occasion to remind us all that he used to be that epitome of a rock star. Instead, we got a mellowed 51-year old that alluded to his best days being behind him and saying not one word about his future. I doubt there’s any classic rock aficionado interested in living vicariously through David Lee Roth these days. Considering the advance hype and expectation he built up about replacing Howard Stern, was this the best he could do? This show gives flops a bad name. What's the difference between a robber and a David Lee Roth radio salesperson? The robber has the decency to wear a mask when stealing your money
Memo to Joel Hollander: Did you not get the fact that David Lee Roth can’t make another first impression? Consider that Roth topped the short list of CBS Radio’s choice of post-Stern candidates, which included Jon Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg and Geraldo Rivera. Two questions for Mr. Hollander: When will the blame game begin and do you feel like Hyman Roth in The Godfather II when he said, "This is the business we have chosen?" Please note that to my knowledge Hyman Roth, is not another one of Roth’s family members. I think every one of them already called his first show.
One fact is certain. Roth inadvertently sold a lot of Sirius satellite radio units on his first day. |